turd tickler

A gay man's penis. Also may refer to a straight man's penis, if straight man is engaged in buttsecks.

Toby wanted to take Geoff's turd tickler for a spin.

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Torridge turd tickler

An unelected pen pusher who works for district government who derives pleasure from tickling random floaters left in public toilets. They will normally perform this ritual after screwing a smaller branch of local government out of assets.

Jen: Hey Wallace
Wallace: Hey Jen, hows it going?
Jen: It's going great. I've just stripped another asset from a town council, so I'm of down the public loos to perform a Torridge turd tickler to celebrate.

Wallace: Sounds good. Hope someones left a nice curler for you