University of New Mexico

Referred to by students as the "University Near Mom". Most of the population consists of kids who graduated from Albuquerque High Schools and get free college for staying in New Mexico. Free college is kind of a win. UNM's basketball stadium, The Pit, is one of the rowdiest ever! And.. there is the Lobos biggest fan, a middle aged bald man who is tatted up and was recently arrested for trying to buy sex from an undercover cop. Gotta love the colorful crowd of Lobo fans. We hard. Going to UNM means that you have top notch food choices a.k.a. all the chile you could possibly want. However, all the out of state kids never fully appreciate it and whine about it because they're little bitches with irritable bowel syndrome. Lots of athletes like to come to New Mexico and moan that there is nothing to do...But they need to take a hike!!!! through the beautiful Sandia mountains with the beautiful girls of Albuquerque who are gracious ambassadors of their city. A lot of the kids who get free college, however, lose their lottery scholarships drop out and become wasteoids who still party with high schoolers. Just by going to UNM, you get mad street cred. However, cops here are super wack and partying is all the time, but very on the DL.
So, don't rip your pants when you have to jump over a fence dragging your drunk ass friend behind you. Get on that Rapid Ride the day after...go to college...and then go buy yourself a breakfast burrito.

I'm going to the University of New Mexico because I don't have to pay anything, I like bomb ass food, enjoy people of hispanic origin, like getting cursed out at sporting events, and enjoy spending time with like 20,000 other students who I probably went to high school with. EVERYONE's a LOBO. woof woof WOOOF.

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