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1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor
3. You measure distance in hours
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once
6. You stay in your house most of the summer because you aren't used to the heat
7. You drive at 55 mph through 10 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow
16. You know 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, cold, construction
19. Cows are just part of the scenery
22. You know that the phrase, "Goin up ta," applies to going north, south, east, or west, up or down in elevation, and pretty much any other way you can travel.
23. The smell of freshly spread cow manure doesn't bother you.
26. Halloween costumes are always designed around a snowsuit and winter boots.
31. You can name everyone you graduated with.
42. You still go home for Homecoming.
58. Your teachers call you by your older sibling's name.
64. You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from.
67. When somebody says "Thats billy fucillo HUGE" you know exactly what they are talking about
I don't agree with the people saying upstate starts just noth of NYC and Long Island, It is more the Finger Lakes and north regions, maybe some of the southern tier but I am pretty sure they have their own set of rules there.
Upstate New Yorker: Oh wow, look we got over two feet of snow last night! Good thing I have four wheel drive!
New York City Person: Holy Crap and inch of snow! Mom, we have a snow day right? Snow like this is dangerous!
Upstate New Yorker: I'm from Phelps, um half way between rochester and syracuse, near geneva and canandaguia, kind by waterloo?
New York City Person: I am from Queens, you are a moron if you don't know where that is.
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The use of this term varies by region.
- NYC + LI: North of the Tappan Zee Bridge.*
- Westchester: North of Westchester.
- Lower Hudson Valley (Rockland, Putnam, etc.): North of Poughkeepsie.
- Albany: North of Albany
* Some people from these areas consider anything North of the Bronx to be upstate. However, (for NYC) they probably have never left their borough, or (for LI) they're jealous because Westchester is essentially a superior version of Nassau County.
All that aside, the technical definition of Upstate New York, as defined by the New York State Department of Tourism, is anything North of southern Dutchess County.
Person from Jericho: "914? So you're from Upstate?"
Person from Scarsdale: "Seriously? I'm closer to Manhattan than you are. Everyone knows that Upstate New York begins above Westchester."
Person from Poughkeepsie: "Hey, I'm not upstate. The Metro-North still reaches me, so that makes me part of the metro area."
Person from Albany: "This is the real upstate."
Person from Buffalo: "I live in Western New York."
Person from Binghamton: "Westchester, is that on Long Island?"
Person from Buffalo: "Chicken Wings."
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Seriousley... Why are all upstate people considered hicks? I do not know. I live in a town called Lake George which is one of the most heavily toured areas in the state. As well as one of the richest in the state. If upstate New York was a bunch of hicks do you really think that Derek Jeter, or DMX, or Jay-Z would buy lake front mansions? I dont think so. Get a grip.
Upstate New York houses some of the richest people in the country, as well as holds some of the most beautiful scenery and lakes in the country.
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Any place in New York that is not Suffolk, Nassau, Queens, Kings, Richmond, New York, Bronx, Rockland, Westchester, Putnam, Dutchess, Ulster, Orange, Sullivan, or Greene Counties.
This is an equal, or far better, section of New York State. It was Upstate that saved the Union, when we kept the City and Long Island from seceding and joining the Confederacy. Upstate bleeds money into NYC, and away from itself. NYC cannot sustain itself, and so relies on Upstate for further support.
Upstater: I'm from Upstate New York
Downstater Elitist: Oh, you must be a hick.
Upstater: Nice assumption, idiot. Apparently you have never been in wine country, or seen the Finger Lakes. You've never been to Rochester or Buffalo. Clearly you think you're better because you take our money and assume you're better because you've never been outside your own little bubble.
Downstater (thinking): Shit, I've been pwned.
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In short, a terrible place. Should be avoided at all costs.
If you ever end up moving to Upstate New York, you will never be able to escape it.
The towns are all small, boring and cold and the cities are nothing to write home about either.
However something about Upstate New York, particularly EXTREME Upstate New York will pull you back in should you ever try to leave for a prolonged period of time.
My parents, like many other unfortunate people who grew up in Upstate New York, actually left and CAME BACK.
Upstate New York will forever be in the shadow of The City, and should you move there you will be invalidated as a person entirely.
If you ever happen to travel, and you tell someone you are from New York you will be forced to endure horrid responses like "OMGZ IZ IT NICE IN DA CITY?" or "D00D I WAz iN NYC LaSt WeEk, itz dA BoMb!!123" even if you try to take preventitive measures such as saying "New York STATE," "UPSTATE New York," or even "RURAL NEW YORK YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
Believe it or not, there are actually places even farther north than Buffalo or Albany.
I personally live within walking distance of the Canadian border.
I would rather just hop across and join the Canadians than deal with another day of being seen as a hideous appendage to The City.
My dream is to get the fuck out as soon as I can, move to another state and NEVER TELL ANYONE WHERE I'M ORIGINALLY FROM.
Unfortunately that will be nearly impossible because SUPRISE, on top of being boring, cold, and ignored, Extreme Upstate New York is also DIRT POOR.
This forces its unfortunate inhabitants to attend crappy local colleges and then later either work at Clinton Correctional Facilities or live IN Clinton Correctional Facilities.
This is partly due to the inevitable drug and alcohol problems these people develop to cope with the pain of living in America's own little third-world country.
Example One:
Poor, unfortunate soul: I grew up in Upstate New York, and saved up all my money from the time I was a kid so someday I could get the fuck out. Unfortunately after leaving and entering the rest of the world I devoloped a slew of mental illnesses because I was never properly trained to live in society. I moved back Upstate.
Example Two:
Kid: Woah, mom, your dashboard says it's -20 degrees outside.
Mom: Yes dear, that's because we're driving through Upstate New York. When we get into Canada, it'll still be this cold, but at least I'll be able to smoke in public.
Example Three:
STUPID Girl on plane: So where are you from?
UNFORTUNATE Guy on plane: UPSTATE RURAL New York STATE.
STUPID Girl on plane: Wow, that's so cool. Can you see the Statue of Liberty from your apartment, or is the Empire State Building blocking your view?
Example Four:
Man: I was going to get out of this place as soon as I could, but things didn't work out, I had to stay in the area for college. Now I work at Clinton Correctional Facilities.
Woman from Anywhere but Upstate, USA: OMG did you meet Tupac?!?
Example Five:
Girl on internet: I live in Massena.
Boy on internet in NYC: Is that like near Ethiopia?
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Not the city, it is ... the Adirondack Region , the largest publicly protected area in the contiguous United States , the place where New York City get their water, the Finger Lakes region, a place where you can see stars, real ones not fake ones.
Joe: I'm from New York
Dullard: Whats it like in the city?
Joe: Upstate New York
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Upstate New York, contrary to the belief of Long Islanders, does not begin just north of the city. NYC suburbs include Rockland, Orange, Westchester, Putnam, and Lower Dutchess counties - including Fairfield County, CT. "Upstate" begins north of those places, when there is no longer Metro-North train service to Grand Central Station.
Poughkeepsie is NOT part of upstate New York. However, slightly north of Poughkeepsie (i.e., Rhinebeck) is where "upstate" actually begins. On the flip side of the Hudson, Newburgh is not upstate. Newburgh is only an hour and a half from the city. Please don't call Newburgh upstate. West of the Hudson, upstate begins in Ulster county.
"I'm sorry, but Scarsdale is NOT upstate New York."
Person from Dutchess meets person from Long Island:
D: "Where are you from?"
LI: "Lawn-Guy-Lind. You?"
D: "Dutchess County...like, Poughkeepsie."
LI: "...Is that upstate? What's it like in upstate NY?"
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Person from Dutchess meets person from Renssalaer:
D: "Where are you from?"
R: "Albany. Well Renssalaer, but no one knows where that is....so Albany."
D: "Oh...I'm from Poughkeepsie."
R: "Is it warm there?"
D: "Uh..."
R: "You know upstate starts NORTH of the Hudson, right?"
D: *confused*
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