vampire baby

noun. any sort of uncomfortable, irritation in the stomach region, i.e. constipation, stomach ache, gas, that is irritating enough to audibly draw attention to one's pain. The usage of vampire baby is especially appropriate if someone's bloated enough to have a physical protrusion of the abdomen area.

I have to go to the bathroom so bad! I can't wait to get this vampire baby out of me.

My vampire baby is really irritating me right now.

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