vow of celibacy

A great show of being chaste and godly, when in reality the person simply hadn't been able to find any "willing" fellow humans, and so he is merely wishing to disguise this fact so that others won't wonder why he never gets laid.

Little Tommy Shaughnessy was feeling so dissatisfied and humiliated from not being able to find a "hole for his pecker" that he'd been seriously considering taking a vow of celibacy in order to have an acceptable excuse if any of his buddies asked him why he wasn't "getting any"; as a last-ditch attempt to alleviate his plight before resorting to such an extreme, however, he tried tricking the local priest into revealing the names of all the local "loosey goosey" females, and was joyfully surprised when the naive priest did just that, and unwittingly provided him with "five good leads".

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