wash the cat

What a woman does to her private area, hopefully every few days.
To scrub the female genitalia.

Sally: "Hey Roxanne. Are you going on another date with Ricky?"
Roxanne: "I wish. I think he may be gay. He didn't want to give me oral sex. He seemed to be turned off by my pussy."
Sally: "No, not Ricky. I bet it's time for you to wash the cat."
Roxanne: "But I bathe every week like clockwork."

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wash the cat

An excuse to blow off a date or appointment.

Oh shit man. I'm sorry I cant make your party. I've got to wash the cat.

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i have to wash my cat

I don’t want to come and I have no excuse but I don’t really care if you know that i don’t want to come so I will give you a horrible excuse. I have to wash my cat. (you don’t actually wash cats)

matt: “hey bro can i come over”

me: “sorry i have to wash my cat”