Weepy Jerk

1. Noun. When, overcome with sadness, depression, or despair, you jerk off to feel even marginally better.
2. Noun. A masturbatory session that happens to coincide with a sad or depressive episode. Tears may be used as lubricant.

3. Verb. Engaging in definitions 1 or 2.
4. Noun. Someone who's usually an asshole, who happens to be crying at the moment.

1. Overcome with sadness, Noah decided to have a weepy jerk, resulting in his problems not seeming quite so bad after all.
2. While on a marathon jerk session, Thomas recalled a sad moment from his formative years, turning his proud gank into a weepy jerk.

3. Heath weepily jerked for hours, hoping for some change in his mood.

4. -Aw, Eli's crying! -Who gives a shit?! Fuck that weepy jerk!