why don't you

A generalized comeback when someone suggests for you to do something. Especially when said something is:
a) obvious
b) your job but you'd rather it not be

Most effectively used when your friend is right but you don't want to give them the gratification of admitting as much.

Friend1: "I really like this girl but I don't know what to do."
Friend2: "Why don't you just ask her out?"
Friend1: "Why don't you?"

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Why don't you have a seat?

The command used by Chris Hansen, of Dateline NBC, before publicly humiliating and destroying would be child molestors on national television. No matter how much the child molestor wants to run, for reasons unknown to man, he cannot leave and always takes a seat.

Chris Hansen: Why don't you have a seat?
Child Molestor: Oh shit! I swear I wasn't going to do anything with that 13 year old boy. I have to go now!
Chris Hansen: Why don't you have a seat right over there.
Child Molestor can't help himself, and has a seat.

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why don't you take a seat

The dreaded words that Chris Hansen will tell you when you go into the house hoping to hook up with an underage girl.

I walked into the house
"hey did you bring the stuff I asked for?"
"Smirnoff Ice and strawberry condoms, you bet."
"ok let me just get changed"
I go into the kitchen and see Chris Hansen
"why don't you take a seat"

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Why don't you go fuck yourself?

The proper response to any question in the form of: "Why don't you (do something you don't want to do)?"

Jane: "Why don't you mow the lawn instead of playing video games?"

Dick: "Why don't you go fuck yourself?"

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Why don't you just make a pizza?

An appropriate alternative to any suggestion whatsoever.

"Hey, we were going to get Chinese food. Want to come along?"
"Why don't you just make a pizza?"

"The United States need to send more, better armed troops to Iraq in order to win the peace and keep America's interests in the Middle East."
"Why don't you just make a pizza?"

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Why don't you just fucking die already?

No seriously. This is a reference to Breaking Bad season 1 episode 4, when Walter Junior, upset and in turmoil over his father's lung cancer diagnosis, outrages at his farther's hopelessness. His mother, Skyler White, is visibly distraught and in shock. Walter White, his father, is facially ambiguous, but I suggest that he is turned on by the unexpected lash out. The abruptness and out-of-pocketness makes this one of the funniest lines in Breaking Bad, nay, in American television.

The writers could well have ended the entire TV show by having Walter White die right then and there and rolling the credits. In fact, this would have been a totally viable ending to a long-winded story and would have prevented the rise of the crack-addicted, mentally unstable Breaking Bad community. Just imagine a world free from crack-heads yelling "JESSE WAKE UP" in public.

The phrase is most often unintentionally used by rage-quitting gamers; specifically, Minecraft zealots when they have two hearts, no shield, and three skeletons are raping them. The phrase also features in many political debates when the opposition runs out of rebuttals and resorts to crude insults, because, after all, this is the best way to assert yourself in discourse.

*3000-word assignment exists*
Professor: "You already have a lenient 5-day period to complete the short-release assignment. However, given the astounding number of simple extensions, we have decided to provide a 2-day blanket extension."
Students: "Why don't you just fucking die already?"

You: *empty a Vietnamese War amount of bug spray on a cockroach*
Cockroach: *moves*
You: "Why don't you just fucking die already?"

Osama bin Laden: *becomes the most elusive terrorist leader in history*
Americans: "Why don't you just fucking die already?"

Stranger approaching you with a clipboard and optimism: "How do you feel ab-"
You: "Why don't you just fucking die already?"

*waiter places your food in front of you*
Waiter: "Enjoy!"
You: *accidentally* "You too."
Waiter: *eats your food*
You: "Why don't you just fucking die already?"

why don't you fuck right off

A more defiant way of saying fuck off, typically used for emphasis or to sound like the smartass you're saying it to.

Smartass: Well uh, I know that that actually isn't true because—
Pissed Guy: Why don't you fuck right off!?

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