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worst case scenario

A relative phrase, never to be uttered or even thought, lest a worse situation should arise.

A man was riding a mule along a steep mountain trail. Suddenly, a cougar darted in front of him. The mule spooked, pitched him from the saddle, and ran further down the trail, taking the man's gun, gps beacon, and supplies with it. The man tried to run, but found that his ankle was broken. He attempted to back away, instead, but his ankle collapsed on some loose stones and he fell backwards toward the precipice, catching himself at the last moment on some old tree roots. As he hung there, with the cougar pawing at the gravel above him and the roots beginning to come free of the rocky soil, he saw a bright cluster of wild berries just within reach. In despair, the man leaned out, grabbed a handful and began chewing on them -- to his surprise, they were wonderfully sweet! Savoring their taste, the man decided that he had, by all rights, lived a good life, and he braced himself for the worst.

Suddenly, the cougar pounced! The man jerked back, and to his amazement, the cougar sailed past him, lost its footing on the slope it had aimed for, and plummeted to the canyon floor far beneath. A cascade of tiny stones followed the big cat, and larger stones followed those. The man looked around and realized that a larger set of tree roots had been revealed beneath the shifting stone. He wiped his free hand, reached out, and got a secure grip. Within a minute, he was back on the trail. As he was catching his breath, he saw his slightly skittish mule trotting back down the path, heading for home. He whistled, bringing it back to him. He made a quick splint for his ankle and threw himself back into the saddle.

A few hours later, he was back at his campsite, where he told his fellow campers one of the most amazing stories they had ever heard. The man ate a hearty meal, took some aspirin for his ankle and his nerves, and went to sleep in his tent, anxious for the morning ride back to civilization.

He never woke up. The berries he ate were poisonous.

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Whatever you are thinking, you haven't found the worst case scenario yet. Don't pretend that you have.

by Alfred F. May 6, 2008

59👍 23👎


Worst Case Scenario

Pinocchio in court as a lawyer defending a man who has just killed 34 nuns, 40 kids and 14 men.

Shrek 2. Say something stupid, like you're wearing womens underwear!

by Biafra J July 31, 2004

14👍 21👎


Worst Case Scenario

Accidentally shitting your pants, generally in a public place, car, or while intoxicated.

"What smells?"

"Pull over, I think I just had a worst case scenario."

by AlphaOne March 29, 2008

8👍 20👎


worst case scenario party

(n.) a party at which you drink only cases of the worst beer.

Guy 1- "Did you hit up Kendra's?"
Guy 2- "No way! All they had was a case of Natty Light, typical worst case scenario party."

by Da Sperminator April 8, 2011

52👍 10👎


Worst Case Scenario

When the worst gets worse, when the event turns from horable to dangorous

That bra would be my worst case scenario (pink with boob desTresTAliZER)

by Cole Gerson November 5, 2003

5👍 24👎


worst case scenarioism

Health anxiety created by googling your symptoms, ignoring page after page of reassuring data, then reading one line saying you'll be dead in 10 days with undiagnosed cancer, on websites such as "wrong-diagnosis-dot-com" or such like.

Mike, suffered a severe attack of "worst case scenarioism" characterized by: fear of imminent death, facing difficult music choices for his funeral, and excessive will writing.

The attack came on very suddenly as a result of googling his haemorrhoid symptoms.

by DoctorAndy June 23, 2021