You have no idea

A response that emphasizes the irony of the preceding statement.

Woman A: Your husband is unfaithful?
Woman B: You have no idea. (Husband has a gay lover)

Man A: Heard you a crazy weekend!
Man B: You have no idea. (Man B is a secret agent who used a party as a cover for a mission)

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You have no idea

A phrase used by people who have no comprehension of a situation that is passively put back on the others in the conversation and when asked to elaborate, cannot.. They say 'you' have no idea when they really mean 'I' have no idea.

How was the math test?

Oh, you have no idea.

That's why I asked. tell me about it.

<Blank stare>

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