you on one

Phrase. Meaning you're acting crazy or goofy or all worked up

Can also be used just as a funny phrase after everything anyone says

Example 1:

Sarah: "im getting married next week!"
Chloe: "you on one"

example 2:

Tyrone: "hey baby I know this our first time meeting but do curious question do you squirt?"
Ashley: "nigga you on one"

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You the one

You are number one, you are the best.

How much do I owe you for the tacos?
Dont trip bro, I gotchu
Ayee, You the one.

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Are you on one

Up for anything

Are you on one tonight because i need to get crazy.

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you had one job

Response to failing to do the one and only thing you had to do. This is told, either in a disgusted, mocking, or angry tone to people, animals, inanimate objects, and anything else that fails to complete the simple task for which it was designed.
A way to express total fail, epic fail, especially when the one job was very simple.

To a cheap park bench that broke while I was sitting on it, "You had one job, park bench!"
To an accountant who was fired for inaccurate computing of business records. "You are supposed to be an accountant, right? You had one job, Sandy."
To a friend about my broken down car, "Damnit, it had one job!"

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you fuck one goat

This expression dates as far back as man has been stuffing his junk into farm animals. You fuck one goat. Meaning there are some things we do that we must carry with us, no matter the good deeds you do or the people who love you, this can all be overshadowed by one horrific deed.

An old farmer walking through his field with his grandson.

Old farmer- "Billy, you see that fence there? Your father and I built that fence with our own two hands.

Billy-''Yeah... That's great grandpa.

Old farmer- "And that barn Billy, do you see that barn? My father and I built that barn long ago together. And these fields Billy...

Billy- uh huh, didnt you fuck some goats once though?

Old farmer- "it was one goat! Geez you fuck one goat...

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you had one job

What bad guys say to their henchman when they either fail their task or get distracted.

Chicken Run lady: You had one job, Mr. Tweedy!

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You Had One Job

A meme that is meant to draw attention to blunders made on the job.

Guy 1: Are those Doritos in the Fritos isle?
Guy 2: You had one job, store manager!

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