You want a cookie?

A snarky way of trying to give a backhanded compliment to someone who has just tried to arrogantly, and often unjustifiably, toot their own horn.

Bob: Oh I am just the hottest thing since sliced bread.

Sue: Oohhh! You want a cookie?

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you want a cookie

response to an individual who keeps talking about irrelevant details.

Max: check out this article about arabica coffee beans
Yon: cool, Ethiopia is one of the major exporters of that crop
Max: well, Ethiopia sucks, and by 2016 they will no longer be the top exporter
Yon: You want a cookie?

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do you want a cookie

When someone tells you something that you don't care two fucks about.

Dawson: It's 9:15
Sarah: Okay, do you want a cookie?

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what do you want a cookie?

Comeback to someone who is bragging.

PERSON 1: I FINISHED MY LAPS FIRST!
PERSON 2: cool. What do you want a cookie??

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Do you want a cookie from my shut-up-and-croak-box?

It's an intensification of "what do you want, a cookie?" which shows lack of interest when someone tells something he considers very cool or amazing, mostly while showing off whith it.

For example, you can use it when you are down and someone thinks he has to tell you just NOW how happy and overjoyed he is.

(I am sad because my love is already assigned)

Annoying person: ...and I just kissed her! She requested me to bring her home and in front of her house she asked whether I wanted to see her stamp collction -haha- and of course I said yes- damn she's so friggin' hot- and then we went in and she took off her...
You: Hey, do you want a cookie from my shut-up-and-croak-box?

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What do you want, a cookie?

A sarcastic retort you use on someone when they tell you something you don't give two flying fadoodles about.

Random Facebook person: This is my first (insert completely random item here) of the year!!!!!!

Someone else: What do you want, a cookie?

Do you want a cookie

When an asshole/piece of shit thinks he did something very admirable and he keeps being annoying about it. This response is used to display the emotion of annoyance and basically saying "do you want to be rewarded fucker"

Jack: Hahaha, I scored higher on this test than you.
John: Okay bitch, do you want a cookie or something