Zephan

A really cool guy with nice guitar skills and a weird aversion to pineapple pizza. Loyal to his friends, funny, and snarky in just the right doses.

Girl: Look at that hot guy!

Other girl: Yeah I know him (*major flex moment*) That’s Zephan. He says someone got impaled on a statue and clearly knows how to dance, he’s so cultured

Girl: Bro what a fuckin legend

Other girl: Damn right

Chaos

I quote directly:

“His voice is weird and he’s always like
All of these other believably flaw (Ed) people are FUCKING BITCHES”

I hate Chaos soooo much

Stupid cosmic fuckwit.

Cliff

A Cliff is a very buff lad who drives a taxi.

Nonexistent on the basis that he is a.) invented by the coiner of Konneor and b.) Ella’s supposed soulmate. (See Clella )

He is both unintelligent and drinks too much coffee.

He’s such a Cliff.

connor is a child

Hypothesis: Connor is a child.

(Children laugh at immature jokes. A Connor laughs at immature jokes. They watch shows for children, as does he. Ergo, child. They both hate coffee. So either all children are Connor or Connor is a child. As not all children are Connor, the only possible result:

Conclusion: Child

Connor made a suggestive reference! Fear not, Connor is a child

Or

Anime girl: hellpp mee reach the shelf

Vampire queen: He won’t, Connor is a child. Excuse us but Springsteen awaits bye