Nontification

1.) An app notification that is of zero importance or interest to the app user.

2.) An app notification that serves no actual purpose.

Owen: My phone buzzed, but it was just another complete nontification saying 'Kate added to their story for the first time in a while'.

Grace: Oh God, I hate nontifications!

Sklepping

The act of going shopping at a Polish Shop; from the phrase Polski Sklep

Person 1: Would you mind unloading the dishwasher for me?

Person 2: I'll do that at some point today, but I've got to go sklepping first: we're all out of pierogi!

Gentleman's Duty

The act of removing a stubborn piece of somebody else's shit from the toilet bowl with a well-aimed and powerful piss.

Sorry I took so long, lads. Gentleman's Duty called.

Beatles Week

A period of eight days; from the song Eight Days a Week.

'Just to remind you, your essay is due in a Beatles Week'

Spengmeister General

The epitome of an absolute speng. A collosal speng.

Rich: Leon's not in today because kicked a solid car park bollard to see if it was hollow.
Jamie: Absolute Spengmeister General, right there.

Succ Machine

A vacuum cleaner.

Get that dust out of the carpet with the succ machine, will you?