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chafer

A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.

S/he's enormous, what a chafer!

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006


spangle

a scattering of stars and also the name of a british hardened candy/sweet in the 1970's and contained the sorts of chemicals that sent kids into orbit. an affectionate term for one who shines out and is unique.

a. 'How are you spangle?'

b. 'I'll be fine when the sweets have worn off. Can you undo my space suit?'

by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006


cardiff

Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?

Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 13, 2006


politician

Trickster, highwayman, mugger, pick-pocket, sexually confused, conscience-free zone; possibly male or female, but likely to be lying about about it either way. intellectually stupid but with acute animal cunning. Knows only money thus major coporate-parties are able to slit the throats of generations yet to come without concern. In Britain politicians are not so much 'elected' as 'selected'. Often associated with child molestation, prostitution, murder, swindling, refuse, robbery, violence and fund raising bingo nights, when they put on a venere of humanity. As false as the shine on Satan's wings.

Labour, Conservative & Liberal - Britian's political Unholy Trinity.

Trustworthy politician = a contradiction in terms

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006


newport

Newport, South Wales, another chav hot-spot badly in need of a WMD. Sandwich filling between Bristol and Cardiff like a bug between a road and a shoe. The Romans abondoned the area around 410ad and the British Labour Party eventually took over, hence it remains a ruin. The river Usk flows through it and the M4 goes past it. Never stop or you'll lose your hubcaps. Scene of Chaterist Rebellion and the founding of the Trade Union Movement, so not all bad news. Nice on the outskirts.

Newport Highlights;
Ringland, Alway, Somerton & Duffryn council estates designed by 1960's graduate town planners on speed, now scenic backdrops to Mordor; Pil for the final volcano scene.
Everything-for-a-Pound Shops.
Splendind Transporter Bridge (now that is a work of engineering art)
The Steel Works (now abandoned too)

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006


idea

Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.

a. 'That's a good idea, Prime Minister'.

b. 'You swine!'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006


care in the community

British poitical euphemism for 'piss off, we don't give a toss'. Usually applied to the disabled, elderly and infirm; a pre-requisite to depriving them of their savings and homes via low standard services. Normal to associate this with abandonment, loneliness and despair. The natural end to the industrial revolution.

Bank manager 1. 'Care in the community would be a good idea'.

Bank manager 2: 'Yes, we must tell the government to do it and sink those needy bastards'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006