Unemployed Behavior

Unemployed Behavior (noun) A brand of chronically jobless, internet-addicted degeneracy. Not just unemployed—unemployed by choice. Often seen in people living rent-free with no adult responsibilities. Symptoms: Using the N-word or “gay” as insults. “I was the plug. Everyone came to me for weed behind the gym.” “Remember the guy who jacked off in the back of class? Good times.” Glorifying past L’s like they were W’s (being expelled, suspended). Constant “remember when” storytelling. Posting conspiracy rants or edgy takes 24/7. Saying “based!” after offensive statements. Screaming “I don’t care” on things they obsess over. Subspecies: Antifa LARPers, Trump fanatics, fake anarchists living off government aid, Marxist TikTok philosophers with $100K debt preaching anti-capitalism on an iPhone, basement trolls ratio-ing people all day.

• “This dude’s out here talking about how he used to sell weed in 9th grade… classic unemployed behavior.”
• “If you have time to argue on Reddit for 8 hours about flat earth… that’s unemployed behavior.”
• “Telling strangers about the kid who used to jack off in your high school is unemployed behavior energy at its peak.”