Random
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Random
When your girl makes you wear a condom while she is giving you a blow job.
My girl is really into head safety
When you live stream on Instagram and only one person is watching.
I was live streaming the other day and there was some Instagram facetime going on.
When you are so horny that you can jerk off to just about anything.
My parents walked in on me desperate bating to a lamp.
The act of stalling by sitting on the toilet for an upwards of two hours.
I didn't want to do my homework so I grabbed my iPad and took a procrastination dump
When you are on the toilet and push really hard; a fart opens the butt hole and a turd shoots out so fast that you don't feel it crown.
I pushed so really hard and I shot aircannon. It shot out so fast that the splash back got in my anus before it closed.
When you are having sex or jerking off on New Year's Eve and you climax exactly at midnight.
I celebrated a happy sploosh-year last night.
When you are masturbating and you climax then you go for round two.
I had the house to myself this weekend and there were so many double taps