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The person in any organization-usually a sports team-who is
good enough to have a lead role.Too bad they're being blocked
by someone already in that coveted spot who's actually quite
good too.
EXAMPLE 1/BUSINESS WRITER TO COLLEAGUE:"If Dick Parsons is #1
at Time Warner,Jeff Bewkes must be 1A.Surely the guy will get his own company to run someday."
EXAMPLE 2/NFL 1A QUARTERBACKS:David Garrard....Gus Frerotte...John Kitna...Brad Johnson.
The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"
HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"
WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."
HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"
WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
When you're on an airplane,you're breathing the same air that someone else just exhaled.As it relates to the terrestrial...
it's when a group of people seem to be of one mind on a subject or trend.
A bunch of guys in a park with Abercrombie and Fitch sweatpants on...feigning athleticism...while tossing a football around rather effiminately...in front of girls pretending to care...can be said to be breathing the same CABIN AIR.
A unit of measurement favored by old-school southern carpenters and general contractors.
CARPENTER 1:"Say fella...would you step back n' take a look at
n'see how this door fits?"
CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."
Someone who lacks authority or power.When giving orders...or leading people...those you lead are more likely to follow if they respect your ability & competence.Otherwise-you might just as well be wearing something pink.
PROJECT MANAGER:"The schedule has us pouring the foundation tomorrow.Let's get 'er done!"
CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."
FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."
WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."
TITLED AFTER FRANK ZAPPA SONG:Someone who makes impulsive, grand scale decisions involving large amounts of money-(usually other peoples')...Facts,consequences and reality be damned.Cocaine is'nt always involved.It just looks that way.
ENRON EXEC.1:"Let's just set up a state-of-the-art trading floor.We'll find something to trade on it later."
ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!
ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."
BIG MONEY...HAVING AN ARROGANTLY LARGE BANK ACCOUNT.THE KIND OF WEALTH YOU COME TO AT A REASONABLY YOUNG AGE THAT LEADS YOU TO DO THINGS THAT OTHERS GOT TO MUCH LATER IN LIFE I.E.LUXURY BOXES AT THE BALLPARK...HOMES IN ASPEN...MISTRESS ACCOUNTS.
1)"HE'S RAKIN' HEFTY STAMPS AFTER CATCHING THE ENTIRE RUN-UP IN CRUDE OIL."
2)"YEAH SHE FOYNE...BUT YOU KNOW SHE CHECKIN' THAT WALLET FO' STAMPS.HI MAINTENANCE HO'."
3)SURE HE TALKS A GREAT GAME...BUT DOES HE HAVE THE STAMPS TO WRITE A CHECK?