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A soft tissue on a roll engineered primarily for wiping feces off a person's anus. It is also frequently substituted for facial tissue.
<wife> How did your day go?
<hubby> Not good.
<wife> What happened?
<hubby> I took a dump at work before I realized we were out of anal tissue.
<wife> That's terrible. So what did you do?
<hubby> I used my undershirt.
To vomit up an energy bar during strenuous physical activity.
I just did a powerbarf and the top of that hill. I think it was the peanut butter chocolate chip with vanilla icing!
A famous quote from the movie "The seventh sense." The plot of the movie revolves around a disturbed boy who tells his counselor, "I see dumb people... and they don't even know they're dumb." In the end, the counselor goes back to his home and finds that he is one of the dumb people the boy was speaking of.
I see dumb people... and they don't even know they're dumb!
Short for Jack in the Crack, another name for Jack in the Box, a fast food restaurant chain.
I went down to The Crack and had a feeding frenzy off the dollar menu.
Nonfunctional, external car accessories that appear to be performance modifications but actually diminish aerodynamics and add dead weight to the vehicle.
<poser> I've got fake dual exhaust with chrome tips, a dummy hood scoop, an artificial slant antenna and nonfunctional side vents. Anything else I can do to impress the women?
<tuner> Yeah, get rid of all those car warts and get a personality!
A department store where you can purchase the same items as in other stores for twice the price.
My mom bought me a pair of gay shorts for $80 at Neiman Markups. I saw the same shorts at Foley's for $40 and they were just as gay.
Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.