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Guys who prudently pretend to know how to BBQ but really just love handling each others meat.
Cam and Matt get totally matt-arsed, buck naked and did that BBQ Bro thing. It wasn't gay. It was just two guys (Cam and Matt) naked in a spa with silicon coated tongs.
When a guy eats out both of an Asian's holes - front and back.
Matt was late home, so his girlfriend Meg-lin was a bit pissed off...
Sorry babe, I'll make it up to you by giving you a 2 course banquet.
Matt's are traditionally submissive, so any time they hook up with a lady, they become pussy whipped.
Q. Where's Matt tonight?
A. He's with Kath (his new girlfriend) who has turned him into Thomas the Tank Engine... You know, because Kath is the Matt Controller...
A common safeword used by dominatrix.
After paying $350 for a dominatrix, there was no way Matt was going to say "pineapple". No matter how many times he was kicked in the balls.
When a Matt gets so off chops from booze and/or gear he is rat-arsed.
Q. How's the big fella (Matt) going? A record 16 shooters at the Ruby Lounge would knock anyone about...
A. He's totally matt-arsed.
Dodgy London share house that holds full ok parties for wasted antipodean folk.
After a whole bunch of laybacks at the Ruby Lounge, they decided to rig up a toy train to do laps of the party room. It was supposed to deliver shots. Instead it just fell on passed out people.
When a guy called Matthew strangles his sausage.
Q. Matt’s been gone for awhile, what’s do you think he’s up to?
A. Mattserbation.