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T Paining is a verb used to describe what happens, on a Zoom call, when you start to cut out and your voice starts to glitch and stutter, resembling the heavily autotuned vocals of a T Pain song.
Bob: "The metrics for quarter --- zzz -- bzzz -- fzzzz --- "
Employee: "So it looks like Bob is T Paining right now...let's give him a second to reconnect"
A phrase, usually uttered by attractive yet really stuck up females. It is used to make it seem like the odds of you getting them naked in the sack are close to nil.
The standard usage is: "You could never crumble this cookie", although variants are frequently encountered in the wild, especially when it comes to girls who are car hoppers.
Girl: "I'm far from a rookie. And you could never ever crumble this cookie"
Having a kirk is when you achieve the ultimate sexual experience that all human males have fantasized about every day since the beginning of time -- that is, banging a gorgeous, green skinned alien.
The term 'kirk' is a direct reference to when Captain Kirk got his hands on Marta, the smoking hot alien babe from the infamous Star Trek episode "Whom Gods Destroy" filmed way back in 1969
Guy: "How'd it go with Breanna last night?"
Other Guy: "Well, she's alright, but I just can't seem to quit dreaming about getting a kirk"
Guy: "Tell me about it..."
Where all ties are dramatically, definitively and even threateningly cut, leaving the receiving party not only with no hope of reversal or reconciliation, but causing them to question their most basic beliefs about the closeness of the former relationship and their own sense of reality within it.
Often neatly reconciled by audacious deus ex machina.
M: "Hey, is it cool if we talk when you get back from Mexico?"
L: "I guess so...after all, I haven’t telenovela banished you yet"
Term referring to an unattractive male who gets attention from ladies because he has money.
Girl 1: "Hey! I got a date with that guy Michael from upstairs!"
Girl 2: "You mean the really ugly one who is about 4'2" and has bad breath and terrible skin?"
Girl 1: "Yeahhh grrrll....he's my lil' cashin nova!"
Netspeak for 'please respond'.
Usually texted when you get left on read, and often will increase the odds of getting a response greatly.
B: "Did you watch that Harry Potter knockoff porn? Sperm-on-me's Secret?"
M: <no response>
B: plsrspnd
M: Oops, sorry! Watching now
Another way of calling a punk a poser, in this case, they aren't hardcore enough to reject the corportacracy's rule and deny themselves the latest iPhone.
Spike: "Dude, this Big Cheese show is full of smartphone punks"
Sid: "Yeah...let's bail and go get some 40's. These kids just don't get it"