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get a dog

An impolite phrase thrown at someone who stumbles and trips
all over people at a bar or social gathering.
An implication that someone is blind because of their inability
to walk in a straight forward manner.
Something you tell to a person that has trouble keeping or
getting friends.
Advice given to an ugly girl who wants to catch a man.

Dude at bar: "If Tyrone doesn't quit tripping over me I'm going to kick his ass."
Waitress: "Tyrone drinks till he's blind, he needs to get a dog."

by jsd9632 January 07, 2012


lot lizard

A truck stop prostitute.
Sometimes a drug addict, but not always.
A woman who prefers the safety of a truck stop to ply her trade rather than public streets.
What white trailer trash girls aspire to be when they grow up.

My momma says when I turn 15 I can be a lot lizard just like her. Then maybe if I'm lucky I can go ride with a trucker and be a whore at all the big truck stops!

by jsd9632 January 25, 2012


when monkeys attack

Shows like Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, Montel Williams & Steve Wilko feature the dregs of the black community doing what comes naturally to primates.
Guests on these shows have sex with any warm body that falls on them, have interracial babies, cheat on their spouses and air their dirty laundry on TV.
When one of these sub humans gets offended they get their inner monkey on and attack!
They physically attack their spouse,their baby daddy, the girl/boy friend of their spouse or even the host.

I watched Steve Wilko today, they had a when monkeys attack episode.

by jsd9632 January 27, 2012


right the fuck off

To go from zero to ballistic in nothing flat.
To be totally calm to completely honked in the blink of an eye.
To become unhinged at the speed of sound.
To become annoyed instantaneously.

"I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when Marsha came in and pissed me right the fuck off!"

by jsd9632 January 20, 2012


functioning homosexual

A functioning homosexual is a gay person who has not given
thier life over to the drama associated with their sexual orientation.
A homosexual who can pass as straight when the need arises.
Someone like Will on Will and Grace.

Gay Dude 1: It's amazing how calm Bob was when Brucie had
his meltdown at the GLT meeting last night.
Gay Dude 2: Bob is very good at keeping it together, he is quite
the functioning homosexual.

by jsd9632 December 17, 2011


sick puppy

A degenerate lowlife.
A worthless piece of scum that has no boundaries when it comes to seeking pleasure.
A slimebag that is on a mission to reach new lows with every perverted act.
A dirtball who will abuse himself, his family and neighborhood pets to get a thrill.
As a child will display all the traits of a future serial killer.

That sick puppy kid from down the street dumped our trash can all over the yard! Looks like he got your used tampons again.

by jsd9632 February 14, 2012


jesus freak

A conceited, self righteous, homophobe who professes a
beyond natural love for some one they only know from
pretty stories at vacation bible school.
A bigot who believes all homosexuals will burn in hell even
though his love for Jesus borders on perverse sexual desires to pleasure his savior with an unnatural act.

An anti-gay closet homosexual religious fanatic who would drop to his knees and blow Jesus if he ever came back.

Bob: "Look at that Jesus Freak picketing the gay bar,I bet he's a closet homo!"

by jsd9632 May 30, 2011