Random
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Random
the deliberate malicious rearranging of furniture to create a tripping hazzard for unsuspecting victims.
I went into the living room to put back the phone without flipping the light switch and became a victim of feng shui when I faceplanted onto the recently relocated aerobics trampoline.
anything that reminds you of watching an extreme close video up of a naked running dudes prunes, in super slow motion.
Going to see the movie on opening night sounded like a good idea, but driving to four different theaters only to find out that it's sold out was begining to feel like slow motion balls.
a full legion of drunken elves
Person 1: If I didn't know better I'd think you put something in my drink, because I'm starting to believe, I'm zindy.
Translated from the serbian: jedi govna i umzi.
A common phrase when you want to tell someone not to be an idiot, not to speak crap, that you're annoyed, by them, or don't believe them.
Tim: I bankrolled a cool mil onto my offshore swiss bank account but I lost it all to crash in February.
Me: Eat shit and die!
A person who has the compulsion to purge their darkest secrets or rat themselves out with little or no prompting.
Person 1: Hey, you seem nice, will you just watch over my little girl for 5 minutes while I try to change this tire.
Purgist: I'd love to, but I have to tell you, I have ADD and I'm easily distracted, I'm a boarder-line alcoholic, I lack the ability to make even the smallest decision, and I have a hard time controlling my bodiliy functions.
Person 1: On second thought, I'll just leave her in the back seat.
Roomate: Hey, Mindy, just remember our rent's due next week.
Purgist: Okay, here's my share of it. By the way, I was pissed off that you finished all the cookies, so I peed in your shoes, it wasn't the cat, and I feel much better now.
It what you call it when you and you're buddies have finally just come up with cool nicknames for a legendary mated pair or couple within your circle, and then they break up, so to retaliate you and your buddies think of crappy nick names to give each separate half of the couple as individuals in hopes that they'll get back together, and you'll be able to use their couple nick names again.
Lester: Where are Itchy and Scratchy, you know cause he always has some kind of rash from his jewellery and she's always mangling him up with her nails.
Fester: We can't call them that anymore. They broke up.
Lester: Dammit. Last time I think up cool nick names for them, from now on I'm calling them Hair and No Hair.
Fester: That might even motivate them to get back together.
Lester: Now you know the plan.
Fester: The name scam, I love it.