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A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.
"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1
"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1
The slang name for an apartment complex in Agoura Hills, CA. People calling it "Lil' T" many times translates to "Little Tijuana". This is because of the prominent Hispanic population, the bland and prison-like design of the apartments, and the amount of outlandish and crazy things that happen there.
"Where does your friend live, again?"
"Oh he lives in Lil' T."
"Oh, yikes..."
A neighborhood in the eastern part of Agoura Hills, CA. It is known as the original "Agoura" community before it became an official city in 1982. It is a bizarre mixture of mansions, miniature farms where people raise horses, and dimly lit warehouses where high schoolers will do burn-outs. For anyone who doesn't own a horse or car, it is hell to get from A to B without twisting your ankle, this is because the area has no actual sidewalks. As "peaceful" as the area seems during the day, it actually has the highest crime rate in the eastern Conejo valley. This is mainly because of it's no streetlight policy, which makes it pitch-black at night. Thus, allowing low-lifers from the SF valley to break into cars and slip away into the night. This also allows Agoura High students to commit most of their shenanigans here. So you will be cruising by white-picket fences with people brushing horses, turn a corner, and see an ENTIRE wall tagged with random graffiti, or you'll be chilling in your backyard and hear tires screeching a block over. Of course, the adults are clueless about this and it'll be up to you to keep your valuables safe. Although the Brightside is, it has lots of great hiking trails, so that you can twist your ankle faster :).
"You know, Old Agoura actually has the highest crime rate in Agoura Hills." - teen
"Oh no it doesn't! You kids don't know how good you have it!" - clueless adult
The neighborhood of eastern Agoura Hills, CA. It is an area of the city reserved for farmhouses and horse owners. It is filled with bored-wannabe-gangster teens and cowboys. It has the highest crime rate, not just in Agoura Hills, but in the whole area due to the no street-light policy, which is in place to reduce light pollution, making it easier for people to get away with things without being seen. It has no sidewalks, which makes it very difficult to get from A to B without twisting your ankle (speaking from experience). It is also surrounded by dimly-lit warehouses and office buildings making it even more prone to sketchy characters from the highway and Agoura High-schoolers to committing thugery in the 69th degree. Beside that, it's really nice in the day, though.
"Wanna hang out in Old Agoura?" -dude #1
"Nah, someone stole my bike" -dude#2
"Again?!" -dude#1
A middle school in Agoura Hills, CA. AKA: The place where the survivors of Sumac, and other surrounding elementary schools, go to loose their innocence once and for all before they're shipped off to Agoura High. It's mascot is the cougar, it has a "pep squad", (which is basically a bunch of underage girls dancing to whiny pop music), and has a prominent skating culture, if you can call it that. Students act with impunity. What I mean about that is that in this school you can throw water at a teacher, get ARRESTED that afternoon, and be in class the next day. The teachers tend to be cool, but the administration is THE WORST. The Lady who was the principle of the school was such an authoritarian, that she was TRANSFERED because she just did not do her job correctly. But hey! It's a blue-ribbon school so it's great!
"Lindero Canyon Middle school is SO fun" -nerdy girl
A middle school in western Agoura Hills, CA. It's mascot is the cougar and is classified as the slightly less awful version of AE Wright middle school. Half the kids look like they should be in high school and the other half, SHOULD be in juvenile hall. It seems that the school believes that throwing water at a teacher AND getting arrested by the school cop in the same afternoon in front of the school is not enough to even suspend them. The school also doesn't believe that students are worthy of seats either, so any time you are called into the multi purpose room, you have to sit on the floor like a bunch of first graders. It's not all bad, though. You have the pep squad, which is basically a bunch of girls in shorts and jerseys dancing proactively to whiny pop music. Also you have a prominent skating culture here, and what that means, is that you have a pretty good chance on having 3'4 shrimp with daddy issues bailing right on you while walking passed any staircase with a railing. But it's a blue ribbon school, so I guess that's cool....
"Lindero Canyon Middle School has great teachers!" -parent
"Yeah, but only if the school allows them to do their jobs!" -kid who actually goes there
A large strip mall in Agoura Hills, CA that acts as the "shopping mall" of the area. Mainly because the mall companies wouldn't be caught dead building an actual mall in this crappy of an area. It is full of stores and businesses that closedown within a week either because of horrible business management, crushing business taxes, or shoplifted blind by the wannabe-gangsta kids of the neighborhood. During the day it is crowded with brainless girls doing tik-toks with Starbucks in hand, and at night it's crowded with the wannabe-gangstas that go to Agoura High and drunk college kids (that don't even live ANYWHERE in the area) that throw bottles at you if you get too close. (Speaking from experience).
"Did you hear what happened at the twin oaks shopping center?"
"Was there a fire? Did someone get shot? Just tell me all ready..."