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waterboarding

One of the many forms of terrorism (in the form of torture) used by the US military in the "service" of putting an end to terrorism. Waterboarding (called "water torture" in the 16th century and used to test the witchiness of witches) involves holding a person down, covering their face with fabric, then pouring water on the fabric. The wet fabric makes it impossible to breath and the person feel as if they are about to drown, thus freaking them out to the extent that they will do just about anything to avoid more torture.

The CIA and US military use waterboarding to promote democracy worldwide.

by spenceronehalf December 28, 2005


five-paragraph essay

A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.

All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").

My teacher is making me write a five-paragraph essay on why I shouldn't think for myself and write creatively in school, but it's like way too boring.

by spenceronehalf December 15, 2005


yackademic

anything affiliated with academia that makes you want to hurl

Meaningless busy work is, you know, yackademic.

The article we had to read made no sense. It was yackademic.

by spenceronehalf November 02, 2006