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When you break the law for your boss and you think he’ll protect you but instead he fucks you like a goat.
Donnie: I see Alan Weiselberg got arrested, think Trump will save him?
Eric: Yeah, right, he’s getting a Cohendeal
When you’re going through airport security with disallowed substances in your carry-on bag and the security agent starts shredding through your stuff.
J.O. Holy shit did you see that dude grab my vape pen?
S.C. Near jail experience, man.
When you plan a big party but no ones comes.
Him: How was the Trump Rally in Jokelahoma?
Her: Total Tulsaturnout, couldn’t even sell my MAGA hats.
After much Congressional research into finding the Deep State it was determined that America really has a Dope State
Him: What is the deal with The Memo, The Wall, The Mueller Investigation, and all the other stupid stuff The Trump keeps talking about?
Her: It's just the Dope State in operation.
DJs streaming concerts during COVID lockdown on Facebook
Her: Wanna get a Zoom conference going with everyone from work?
Him: No, I’m watching Covella on FB
When Donald Trump sticks his head up his own ass to come up with a new Executive Order
Me: We're banning people from Muslim countries? Why?
Him: The President just preformed a Trumponoscopy on himself
When serendipity meets pretentious travelers
I was going to go to a Singita Lodge in South Africa but the serandipians convinced me that Namibia was far more pretentious.