Random
Source Code
Random
When you go on a self imposed quarantine with several bottles of tequila
Me: Where’s Jane? She hasn’t been at work all week.
Her: She got a virus in Mexico and is at home on a Tequarantine
Someone who is typically a dirt bag but suddenly redeems his or herself
Me: Did you read Anthony Scaramucci’s new interview in Vanity Fair slamming Trump?
Her: Yeah, he’s my scum hero
When something bad is going to happen and everyone knows it but the probable victims are unwilling to do anything about it.
Will: I went to Dad’s house today, he’s going to break his neck going down those stairs to his office.
Frank: Why doesn’t he move his office upstairs?
Stuart: Too late, it’s predisastered.
The age before Donald Trump when the earth had a habitable environment and a free press
Me: What is a polar ice cap?
Him: In Pretrumpian times, before the EPA was abolished we had frozen areas on the north and south poles which helped cool the planet
Any celebrity or celebrity sports star who believe because of their fame they can ignore a country’s entrance rules.
I can’t believe that Novax Jocksabitch is still trying to get into the country, he should just go home.
When a group of people declare independence on a piece of land they do not own.
Him: You hear about Chaz? The new independent country inside Seattle?
Her: It’s just a Thiefdom.
An assignment by a spouse of other family member to acquire Christmas presents
Him: Let's find a sports bar Sunday and watch some NFL
Me: Can't, my wife has me scheduled for a Chrismission before we leave for the holidays