Canada

The best friend of the United States, along with the UK and Australia. Its people are generally much more calm, rational and reasonable than their counterparts to the south. Its soldiers fought bravely and in countless cases died with honor side by side with British and American troops in the trenches of the Great War, on the beaches of Normandy, and in the mountains of Korea. Has a history and culture similar to our own, but generally less obsessed with violence and killing. Tends to be more liberal politically, never having had slavery or segragation, and less puritanical when dealing with alcohol and marijuana. Has a large French-speaking population, which, to their credit, has not yet surrendered to Germany in any war. As a nation, tends to be fairly honest and trustworthy, as evidenced by its stable currency and respectable diplomatic standing in the world. To the best of my knowledge, no Canadian citizens or interests have ever been explicitly targeted by international terrorists, and no Canadian army has ever invaded another country unprovoked.
Because of their usually sunny disposition, especially when compared with citizens of the US, Canadians are often seen as naive, gullible and/or not very pugnacious. Any student of history will find ample evidence to refute this stereotype.
Capital: Ottawa
Pop.: 33.1 million (2006)
Independence: July 1st, 1867 and December 11th, 1931 (there is a logical explanation for this)
GDP: $1.08 trillion (11th largest in the world)
Flag: Three vertical bands (red, white, red) with maple leaf centered in white band. Not very offensive, rarely burned by Muslims.

I'd rather have Canada as my neighbor than any other country in the world.

bumfuckery

Noun.

1. Pure, unadulterated stupidity. Daftness of a magnitude that shocks beyond words. Total and complete lack of reason. Utter futile uselessness. Such wanton disregard for logic as to render silent all within earshot of the event.

From the English "bum" (see ass) and "fuck"

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1. I won't stand for this bumfuckery, by Jove. I'm going home.

gaytag

Any appliance from the manufacturer Maytag produced in a gay (purple or pink) color, or otherwise deemed by a certified expert to be "gay."

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Dude, you've got a fuckin' Gaytag washing machine.

bubble

1. A Toyota Previa.
2. A minivan manufactured by the Japanese carmaker Toyota.
Short form: Bub

Mom, I totaled the bubble.

alunk

Adjective.

1. To get drunk alone. Contraction of "alone" and "drunk." Fairly straightforward.

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1. I was depressed after breaking up with my girlfriend, so I got alunk.

fool

Is regularly pitied by certain African-American actors with single-letter names.

I (insert letter here) pity the fool...

open up shop

Verb.

1. To commence an undertaking.

2. To beat the crap out of someone.

3. To fuck wildly.

4. To turn the tables during an Ultimate Frisbee game.

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1. We should really open up shop on Project Apollo.

2. If he keeps pissing me off, I'm gonna open up shop on that asshole.

3. Dude, she's hot. I'd definitely open up shop on her.

4. We were losing pretty badly until we gave up the zone defense and opened up shop on them.