turtles autograph

A poo smear on the back of your underpants caused by the emerging stool

I need the toilet right now, I've just had the turtles autograph.

dip the turtle

have sex. Comes from the head being shaped as a turtle dipping into a very wet pussy.

"so you spent five hours with the girl, and you didnt even dip the turtle, man!"--Mike and Gary (its a show on Comedy Central)

Turtle Club

A restaurant/bar located in Hoboken, New Jersey known for having bands giving performances there. Delicious food and the lights are very dim giving people such experience.

I stopped by Turtle Club to see Tess and TJ performing before heading to flight school. Tess is such an amazing singer and TJ is very good with guitar.

turtle toot

The act of farting in public and making someone else take the blame.

*toot*
You: awh fred you nasty.
Fred: shut up with yo turtle toot.

Turtle Shell

A turtle shell is when your dick is so shriveled and soft that it is practically retracting back into you, similar to how a turtle goes into its shell. A turtle shell usually occurs after you have just ejaculated or after you get out of water.

"Dude, my dick is turtle shelled right now since I just got out of the pool"

Escape Turtle

(n) one who, despite warnings and/or rules designed to safeguard their physical and/or mental well-being, breaks free and exhibits deliberate, rebellious behavior, disregarding long term consequences in favor of short term gratification. Shortened version of the sage proverb "the escape turtle breaks its shell."

Person1: "I should have gone to bed early before this exam, but stayed up all night watching my favorite show on Netflix. I definitely failed."
Person2: "Don't be such an escape turtle next time."

Derpa Turtle

It is a cryptic that lives in the uninhabited areas of Pennsylvania It is part gerbil and part turtle. It's shell is covered in fur which keeps it warm. It has whiskers and fur like a gerbil and scales and a shell like a turtle. They are quite small creatures that live in wet or muddy areas and hate human interaction. They are called Derpa Turtles because the word derp used as a substitute for speech regarded as meaningless or stupid, or to comment on a foolish or stupid action. The A is added to make it plural to mean they are all foolish they are not the smartest creatures but have managed to survive

Did you hear about the man who was killed by those Derpa Turtles. No that could never happen they are too stupid.