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Absolution: When you giving it to your wife from behind but you suddenly have the urge to take a big shit and your son comes right on time to swap you and you keep hearing your wife's moans as you lay down the biggest turd of the history of turds
Man 1 : I am so happy I have a family now, used absolution yesterday. Great way to bond more with your son
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.
Absolutely wallpapered is when you have drank so much alcohol and smoked so much weed that you are absolutely wallpapered and can’t even get up to go for a wee
“I need a piss mate but I’m absolutely wallpapered that I can’t be arsed going for a wee”
The weird temperature at which your mucus freezes in your nose and feels weird.
Yeah dude it was so cold this morning that I think it would hit about absolute mucus. It was very uncomfortable.
Student: What is the exact temperature of Absolute mucus
Teacher: It varies depending on many factors including but not limited to, the amount of mucus in nose, size of nose, and amount of hair in nose.
When you call someone the absolute soup, you are saying that they have soup for brains, and therefore stating that they cannot grasp the power of big moon.
Excuse me Sir, you are the most soupy person I have ever seen, and you may even be the absolute soup.
Similar to Ken Wilber's "Pre/trans fallacy", which is about conflating pre-rational views with trans-rational views, the Relative/absolute fallacy is about conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective. This is the main source of confusion in the forms of spirituality that deal with the implications of non-duality (Oneness).
There are generally two levels to the fallacy:
1. The first level is the conflation that happens when you don't have knowledge about the distinction between the relative and The Absolute (dual/non-dual). This is common in pre-rational religious people (Wilber). The way that traditional religion interprets various holy texts is itself a good example.
2. The second level happens when you do have knowledge about the distinction between relative and absolute (but it's obviously not complete knowledge). This is common in (aspiring) trans-rational people. A common example is to think that because nothing ultimately really matters, morality doesn't matter, and therefore it's fine to for example hurt other people. This is to conflate "the relative" with "The Absolute". From The Absolute perspective, yes, nothing really matters, but morality can only ever be defined "relative" to a certain value system in the first place. By taking the absolute perspective, you're deliberately stepping outside of all value systems, but "it's fine to hurt other people" would be a moral statement, which means you're actually invoking a relative perspective.
You're conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective ("The Relative/Absolute Fallacy").
Albert thinks he is God and nobody else is. Albert has committed the Relative/Absolute Fallacy.
tell this to some random dude who literally sucks at aiming
you're absolute dogwater bro
When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.
"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"