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n. A poorly functioning computer
Person 1: Did you get the email I sent you?
Person 2: No. My computer is being a turtle fucker.
A dirty turtle is when you are fucking a girl (or guy) from behind on the floor. Just as you are about to ejaculate, you run their head into the wall, knocking them out unconcious. Once knocked out, ejaculate all over their stomach, and watch them while they lay on their back helplessly, just like a turtle.
My girlfriend woke up on the floor in a state of confusion after i gave her a dirty turtle.
Turtle Jerk is when someone is giving a handjob and covers the head of the penis so when the male ejactulates cum wont spray all over. It's named after the handforming a shell, as in turtles having shells.
Now Sandy, be smart. Turtle Jerk me. I mean, this is a new couch...
When you have to take a shit to badly that the tip of the poop is coming out of your asshole.
can't talk, sorry! I have a peaking turtle!
Describes a dance in which the hands are put in a fist, and put up near your face like you are driving like and old person, and move side to side.
Dana: WHat are you doing?
Alex: The Raunchy turtle, what else?
When you crawl around on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 with a riot shield on your back the whole match
Holy shit why the hell can't I kill that bitch on the ground? He's Turtle Catting that's why
Where one, separates their four fingers into two to create a 'v' shape and uses it as foreplay on a woman. Two of the fingers for the vagina and two for the anus. Otherwise known as 'the shocker.'
'Two in the pink, two in the stink.' - Turtle paw