Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

Fig Newtons

A term for marijuana.

Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!

Fig Newton

Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.

"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"

Fig Newton

The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.

Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.

Fig Newton

A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.

Dude you're such a Fig Newton!

fig newton

as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"

I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.

fig newton

the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth

I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons