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sea cruise

Sex on a waterbed

Sheena didn't want to get down last night until she found out I had a waterbed. That girl loves to sea cruise.

by !JayAm! December 10, 2016


high & dry

A method for quitting alcohol by smoking weed instead.

Vance: You want anything? There's beers in the fridge.
Joy: No thanks. I'm kinda high & dry these days.
Vance: Oh, well, there's a pipe in that drawer.
Joy: Cool.

by !JayAm! February 28, 2021


January Christmas

Dad is very sorry but his paycheck for the last job won’t come in until January so we won’t have gifts on Dec. 25. They’ll be just a few weeks late I promise.

<Late December>
8yo Me: Dad, you’re so late. I missed you.

Best dad ever: I missed you too. Just trying to get this job done so I’ve been working late.

Me: but you won’t have to work Christmas like last year will ya?
BDE: No, son, I’ll be here. But since I didn’t finish the job I won’t get paid before Xmas. But I’ll get paid in a few weeks and we’ll celebrate then. Well just have a January Christmas. Ok?
Me: that’s fine dad. I understand.

by !JayAm! December 13, 2021


temp cycle

When you get fired/laid-off/quit your job and try to get another full time job, but can't for some reason, so you take a temp job. When that ends no one will hire you because they think, "If this guy was any good his last employer would have hired him full time." So you get another temp job because they'll hire anyone.

Justin: I've been looking for a job for 3 months now, and the only places showing any interest are just temp jobs.

Rich: So, what's wrong with that?
J: Well it would be nice to have insurance or paid days off or any kind of benefits, and have a normal, stable job. But I guess I'm just stuck in a temp cycle for-fucking-ever!

by !JayAm! August 3, 2018


threefill

When you finished your beer, shot, and water, and want some more.

Hot bartender: Can I get ya anything else, hon?

Me: Yeah, I'll take a threefill, please.

by !JayAm! August 27, 2017