she money

aka she-money.

Money SHE doesn't know you have. She being the wife, the girlfriend, the roommate, etc. Money kept secret for spending on hidden purposes, such as buying things on the sly, strip club outings, gambling, drinking, investing, or planning to dump her and set up a new place.

Bob: "How'd you get your wife to let you have five hundred bucks for the strip club? You guys never have money..."
Dave: "I got a hundred fifty from her - I had three fifty saved up in my she money account at the bank!"

Diane: "Honey, where'd you get the money for those Jimmy Choos?"
Stephanie: "Found my husband's She-Money box in the closet."

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community college apostrophe

Any Apostrophe used inappropriately where a word is plural but not a contraction or a possessive. Much like the opposite of the Harvard Comma, the Community College Apostrophe is used by the uneducated and grammatically ignorant.

"Hey, want to see my photo's from when me and the girl's went hiking in the mountain's?"
"No, and lay off the Community College Apostrophe."

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Pulled an Enron

Completly making up numbers for the purposes of reporting on something in either a professional, scholarly or financial matter, either to save a lot of work, or for financial gain.

Steve:" don't you have a big poly sci project to work on?"
Bob: "shit dude, I pulled an enron on it. Like the professor actually knows about child labor in Uzbekistan."

Dave: "you're going to jail? Why?"
Jane: "I pulled an enron on my tax return. You know I don't really have twelve kids."

Ho Phone

A prepaid disposable phone obtained sureptituously to talk to your lover, so you can cheat on your significant other (wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend)

Dave: Whose phone is that? I thought you had an iPhone
Steve: Nah man, this is my Ho Phone so I can talk to Cheryl.
Dave: Your wife is going to kill you

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furlough time

Time spent at work doing absolutely nothing work related, to make up for the furlough day the company gave you to save money due to poor financial management.

Bob: Jim, you've been goofing off all day, what gives?"

Jim: "I'm taking my furlough time. I've got four more hours to spend tomorrow."

Cell Phone DJ

Douchebags who walk along with their cell phones playing music like a miniature 1980's Ghetto Blaster.

Steve: "Wheres that tinny, irritating music coming from?"
Tom: "The douchebag over there. Damn Cell Phone DJ."
Steve: "Hasnt that asshole heard of ear buds?"

workation

Related to staycation - but instead of taking vacation time off and staying at home - one reports to work but goofs off. Related to "homeing from work" and "furlough time" - however this is goofing off for goofing off's sake, not for any ulterior motive. Workations usually involve post hangover-days, post-special project deadlines, and generally any time you're just tired of work and need a break.

Dan: "What did you have on the agenda for today Sarah?"

Sarah: "I'm going to finish these TPS reports this morning, and after lunch I think I'll take a workation and check out eBay and Overstock.com."

Dan: "You're fired."

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