Self-Fulfilling Twat

A twat who claims he's only behaving like a twat in defence of the fact that other people keep calling him a twat behind his back.

Similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy but more personal, and often used as a defense mechanism, usually by men to avoid ever having to engage with anyone emotionally, or say sorry.

Their phrase of choice should you ask them why they're behaving like a twat is of course: 'Are you calling me a twat then!?' and then centre all their twatness upon you as you obviously must be the source of why everyone thinks they're a twat, and are no longer inviting them to any more social events.

I can't be bothered to try and make sense of the man anymore, he just seems to be a self-fulfilling twat.

39👍 5👎

Bender

1. A long prelongued bout of alchoholic self punishment.

2. A pretty innoffensive Brit slang word for a poof.

3. A character on the TV show Futurama.

1. Fuck you all, Im off on a bender.

2. Are you really a bender?

3. KILL ALL HUMANS!

28👍 10👎

Car Crash TV

Any TV program that, like a recent car crash in the street, you know you shouldn't watch, you know you'll regret looking, but you just can't help yourself!

"The auditions section on that 'search for a star' reality TV show are proper Car Crash TV, aren't they?" Eurovision, Big Brother, Punk'd, any and all painfully uncomfortable reality shows.

90👍 20👎

Chavscussion

The Jerry Springer style street 'discussions' chavs and bag heads have with one another, normally at about 2am just underneath your fucking window, lasting for about 3 hours and involving massive amounts of personal detail nobody should ever need to know about a neighbour, and bottles.

Aw fuck, the stupid drug fucked oxygen thieves are having a 2am chavscussion about who's kid's who's again, your turn to call in the pigs, man.

25👍 4👎

Disco dirt

The sweat, funk, smoke, spilled beer, mystery stickiness, lipstick and just general crap one gets on oneself coated in after a night out clubbing and/or out with the lads.

Just off to take a sheep dip, I need to wash off all this disco dirt before I change into my house clothes.

41👍 5👎

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.

BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

106👍 7👎

Crossed Threads

Once just generally meaning confused thoughts but now used to mean when two or more people are talking in an internet chatroom and get two different subjects confused together.

WiL> Have you got it yet?
Tony> I got summat well kewl other day!
WiL> Oh?
Tony> Ill look, BRB...
WiL> Sent it ages ago!
Tony> Its well kewl, a mate sent it 2 me! :D
WiL> He did!? Hang on, weve got Crossed Threads, mate, R U on about the mail I sent U or this other thing?

11👍 3👎