Mannes College of Music

One of the three main conservatories in New York City, the other being the Juilliard School and the Manhattan School of Music. Smaller than its counterparts and criminally underfunded, Mannes has earned a reputation for having demanding theory and ear training curricula. While the quality of its students vary from moderate to abhorrently terrible, the kids come out knowing slightly more than the average conservatory student given that the school actually teaches the student something outside their instrument. Notable students and graduates include Frederica von Stade, Murray Perahia, George Rochberg, Myung-Whun Chung, and Lara St John, among others.

Mannes is currently under the ownership of The New School, a pretentious, poorly administered university system based in lower Manhattan that always succeeds at making itself look better than it actually is. Fortunately, Mannes is one of the more independent schools currently owned by The New School, even if it still has to bear the mark of the university system's name in its "proper", verbose title: "Mannes College The New School for Music"

An aspiring pianist from Afghanistan
Became a devout Byron Janis fan
Wrote he, “Who can learn me
To master my Czerny?”
Replied pianist Janis, “The Mannes can.”

Violinist (applying for a job): "I hold a B.M. from the Mannes College of Music in violin performance."
Interviewer: "How do you feel this school has helped you as a performer?"
Violinist: "Well, I still sound like I did when I was a sophomore in high school, but at least now I can read in seven clefs!"

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