Evil Empire

Reference to the New York Yankeees made by Boston Red Sox President Larry Lucchino. Called such because of their propensity to purchase baseball championships year after year.

The Yankees are the evil empire of baseball with the highest payroll in baseball of almost $190 million.

However, the Red Sox, who refer to the Yankees as such, have a payroll of almost $130 million, second highest in baseball. Would that make them the almost-evil empire? Or, how about the jealous empire?

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preggers

Absolutely retarded way of saying pregnant. If it's slang used mainly by guys, it's obviously gay ones who didn't get the chick knocked up in the first place, because that's how it sounds. No man should ever use that phrase...EVER.

Guy 1- "Damn man..."
Guy 2- "What's up man? What's wrong?"
Guy 1- "My girlfriend's preggers"
Guy 2- "What the fuck did you just say?"
Guy 1- "She's preggers...you know, preggers"
Guy 2- "I'm going to kick your ass right now"
Guy 1- "OK, I deserve it"

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you are not the father

The opposite of you are the father. Meaning a male is not the biological father of a child.

Most often also heard on the Maury Show, when the girl who was banging 16 different guys at the time she got pregnant has no idea who her baby daddy is.

Unlike its counterpart, the words every guy wants to hear if they had sex with some of the nasty ho's on there.

Denise, a 17 year old mother of Shantell, is 1000% sure Elron is the father of the little girl. Elron has stated 'Dat baby don' look nutin' like me' and 'Dat girl iz a hoe!" while Denise screams at him to 'Be a man!' and "Step up to yo' responsibilitays!" Maury holds the envelope-

"When it comes to the case of 2-year old Shantell, Elron...you are NOT the father!"

*Elron then stands up overjoyed and elated, and calls Denise a hoe, slut, and bitch or other similar words as she runs off crying. Elron then whoops it up with the crowd while Denise screams in agony

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Almost Porn

Softcore pornography either in video or image form that does not show penetration, and usually has very brief shots of both the male penis or female vagina. There are also no cumshots for either partner shown on camera. You may often find these types of videos on Cinnemax or HBO2 late at night.

Since my scrambling box doesn't work for the Spice Channel, I have to settle for Cinnemax and Almost Porn

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Paternity Test

1) - DNA test using several methods which can determine the biological parent(s) of a person. Most common methods are urine and/or blood samples, or swabbing the mouth and ears of a subject.

2) - The topic appearing on the Maury Show 3-4 days per week.

3) - What no man who had a one night stand wants to have to take.

1) - "This paternity test will determine if John is your long-lost father."

2) - See you are the father and you are not the father.

3) - Jamal- "Oh shit, I gots to take dis paternity test. I hope I ain' da father of Latrelle's nasty ass baby!"

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Thick as Theives

Phrase referring to two or more people who are very tightly connected with one another.

People who trust each other completely and will often confide deep secrets in each other.

"So Bobby and Joey know each other pretty well?"
"Oh yes, since third grade, thick as theives those two."

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simpsons reference

Phrase referring to when someone quotes, cites, or uses something that was previously done on The Simpsons. Thus, they are making a Simpsons reference.

This wonderful phrase can be used in virtually any setting, time or place.

Guy 1- "Ow! I dropped a hammer on my foot, dammit that hurts!"
Guy 2- "Haw-haw" (ala Nelson)
Guy 3- "Simpson's reference!"

Corporate Accountant- "Mr. CEO, our profits will increase by 42% over the next year due to this new project."
CEO (tapping is fingers together)- "Excellent"
Accountant- "Simpsons reference!"

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