Drew

He’s the kinda guy you’d want sneezing in your mouth. Drew isn’t just a name as it’s more of an invitation. It’s well known that a Drew could knock on your front door for any reason at any time. Maybe his car broke down, maybe he’s selling insurance, maybe he’s alone on thanksgiving, whatever it may be, you’ll let him into your home with open arms and show him a seat at your table and he’ll tell your mother in exquisite style how beautiful her breasts are next to that glazed turkey and she’ll blow a load from hell and ruin thanksgiving dinner and you’ll all laugh and smile and say oh Drew, that boy is amazing. Next thing you know your daughter brings home a Drew tomorrow and she’s covered in peanut butter from head to toe because Drew thought it’d be a good idea to make a pbj. Next he follows inside, covered in Welch’s grape jelly smelling sweeter than honeysuckle on an easy Sunday morning on a walk out with the pups. This is only dads 2nd impression of a Drew and boy is he impressed. 3 pieces of bread later, you have your self a fam sandwich with a little Drew dressing to give it some flare. Drew is an enigma, he is a god, when will you see it through that all the pieces are exactly where they need to be in this world?

“Omg your covered in whip cream Diane!” “Oh no that’s just my nut juice, I ran into Drew at at Giant Eagle.”