Olentangy River

A 97 mile long tributary to the Scioto River in Central Ohio. Known for the 22 miles of designated scenic river, and most notable for the strip renamed the "toxic waste dump" by the Ohio State University Campus.

Every year thousands of plastic bottles, beer cans, glass bottles, and pizza boxes are thrown for good fun in the Olentangy by drunken or careless college kids. Every winter, when the river freezes over, more noteable things are dropped onto the ice to sink once it thaws including: Shopping carts, Shoes, Safety Cones, Construction Barrels, Car Parts, and other stolen artifacts such as a Marching Band Sousaphone, a kite, and an animal crate.

The toxicity of the river is known throughout the campus- students claim that should someone fall in, they have a 50/50 shot of obtaining super powers or a mutated third limb.

A number of Canadian geese and mallards call this river home, but most notably are the four white geese nicknamed Floppy, Goon, Retard Goose and Fluffy.

The Olentangy River is so filled with large obstacles the OSU Crew and Rowing teams have to create narrow paths to row to avoid damaging their boats.

Drunk 1: Hey! I've got a broken motorcycle I don't use anymore!

Drunk 2: Let's throw it in the Olentangy River!