Update Limbo

The deeply unproductive period of time you spend waiting on your favorite websites to update, refreshing periodically and putting off any real work until you've had your fix.

I spent all morning stuck in update limbo and didn't manage to get one report in.

Public Wash

The act of washing your hands only when there are other people there to judge your personal hygiene, for instance in a public washroom.

"Don't shake John's hand. I hear he's a public washer."

OR

"I was in a hurry to leave the office but my boss was in the urinal next to me so I felt like I had to do a public wash before leaving."