subway gymnastics

Any variety of wild, crazy, and retarded antics you can accomplish by hanging off of the poles, overhead grab bars, and other structures inside of a moving subway car. Usually occurs late at night when the subway is basically empty, with a relatively large group of people, and preceded by copious amounts of drinking.

A: "Damn, Alex looks dizzy--he just did a double backflip off the grab bar then spun around the center pole upside down like 15 times."
B: "Dude, I think he's gonna puke. Subway gymnastics are dangerous."

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grouptarded

The condition whereby a group of people becomes significantly less able to accomplish some goal, such as going out to dinner or finishing a meeting, because no one can focus. Grouptarded gets exponentially worse the larger the group gets.

A(after waiting outside the dorms for 35 minutes): "Dude, we are gonna miss this movie--Adrianna ran back upstairs to grab her hair thingie, Pascal and Nadine just ran off to buy pretzels from the hot dog stand, Alex is detouring to an ATM, and Kellen fucked up his leg doing subway gymnastics last night so you know we'll be walking slow."
B: "We are so grouptarded."

A(during a supposedly 15 minute meeting that has stretched into 3 hours because of incessant chatter and constant interruptions): "Will you grouptarded assholes please shut the fuck up so we can finish this and get out of here?"

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mad haggard

1) Whenever things get rough beyond all reasonable standards. An expression of an inability to make any headway against the fundamental ridiculousness of a shitty situation.

Pioneered by Adam and Josiah about halfway through a confusing trip in Eugene, OR, it quickly became a useful, though somewhat overused, descriptor for a lot the crap that life throws at you. It also evolved into a universal adjective to directly describe people and things as well as situations. Sometimes shortened to MH.

2) Can be used as a reply to a complaint. In this form it is descriptive, but takes on the additional sense of empathizing with the speaker, while also tacitly admitting that there isn't anything that can be done about the hopelessly fucked up situ.

A: "My shoes are untied, my headphones are all tangled, I can't find my shit, my nose is running and I don't know which way is up. I feel like a bag lady."
J: "Mad haggard, yo!"

"Damn, Roland is really pissing me off with all the bullshit he's making us do. Mad haggard--i'mma quit soon."

"George Bush is mad haggard."

J: "This sucks."
A: "MH."

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