Obone

o-bone - noun

The "Office boner"

When you are quietly working away in an office environment, and you start to feel a twitching in your nether regions. You want it to go away, but it just won't.

It grows and grows (and if you're lucky, grows some more...) before BOOM! You're pinned under the desk and can't move for thirty minutes.

Fingers crossed your boss doesn't call you in for a chat...

Guy A: "Dude, work was terrible today".
Guy B: "Why?!"
Guy A: "Had a raging Obone and couldn't make my way to the bathroom. Soiled myself at my desk."
Guy B: "awesome."

The Obone Layer

see: Obone

A regular occurrence in the office environment: whereby male members of the workplace become hooked to the underside of their desks by an involuntary erection, leaving them in a precarious situation and unable to walk around the office freely.

The Obone Layer refers to the stretched material covering the protruding tip of the penis, and is a barrier between the obone and the office atmosphere.

A useful tip is to trap the head of the penis under the buckle of ones belt, thus reducing the effect of the oboner.

Guy A: "Had the best day at work today"
Guy B: "Oh Really?!"
Guy A: "Yeah, I had this crazy obone, and Melanie leaned over to get a stapler off my desk. She definitely touched the Obone Layer!"
Guy B: "Omg, I'm well jelly!"
Guy A: "Yeah, I was well moist."