did you go down on yourself?

A perfect response for when another person is about to tell you a story of epic proportions or say something impressive.

Carmichael: Hey I had the most awkward thing happen to me last night, you won't believe it!
Ted: Did you go down on yourself?
Carmichael: 0_0

22👍 2👎

stealth wingman

A pre-agreed upon tactic used when a hot girl passes by or is nearby. The stealth wingman pretends to be blind after his friend mentions the girl's hotness, and asks said friend to describe the girl for him. This is done in hopes of arousing the girl's attention and ultimately picking her up.

Adolf: Whoa did you see that girl!?
Andrew: I'm afraid I didn't, I'm visually impaired! Can you describe her for me?
Adolf: Well, she has beautiful eyes and long brown hair. She is the prettiest sight you've ever seen.
*girl hears it and walks over*

--- Later ---
Adolf: Hey Andrew, thanks for that stealth wingman you pulled the other day!
Andrew: No problem my man! *resumes reading braille copy of The Hobbit*