Pittsburgh

The greatest damn place in the universe. pronounced - Picksburgh. We hate Cincinnati. Fuck the Bengals. The Steelers are a religion. We bleed black and gold. We say "yinz," "haus," "warsh," and our favorite foods are "kibossi" and pirogies. Rolling Rock and Iron City are the shit. It's cheap but fucks your ass up, so who cares? You can't drive five minutes without hitting a pothole, but get over it. You don't like it, get the fuck outta my city. We have K-Mark's, and Wal-Mark's. We have tittie bars. We're getting a casino, and if you don't like the "Stillers" you're obviously not a real football fan. It's Car-Nay-Gee not Carn-Uh-Gee. Contrary to popular belief, there are NOT a lot of rednecks. But yes about the fat men drinking Pabst beer all day. We love our Amish. You're just jealous cuz you don't have them! We have Paps, not Paw-Paws or Pop-Pops. You can take a bus most anywhere. Tourists love to take pictures of our city all lit up at night. I've rode the incline, several times. Everybody loves giving the bird in Pittsburgh! We tell people to stop being so damn "nebby." When you ask someone to hand you a "gum-band" you know exactly what they are talking about. For yinz or youz guys who don't know what a gum-band is : that's a rubber band. We know all three rivers by name. The Ohio, Monongahela, and Allegheny. When someone starts to chant "Here we Go Steelers," you know exactly what to do. We drink pop, eat hoagies, and all our sandwiches and salads have fries on 'em. We have still mills. We have Eat N' Parks, Ponderosas, and can order "dippy eggs" at restaurants and have the waitress or waiter know exactly what we're talking about. Kennywood is the best amusement park in America. Chipped ham is in every refrigerator. Hunt's is unheard of, Heinz all the wayy baby. We don't have creeks, we have "cricks". We walk carefully when it's "slippy" outside. Most of our parents have had to walk 15 miles to school in 6 feet of snow. If you don't like Pittsburgh, get the fuck outta here. We love the "Dirty Burgh."

"Where yinz guys goin'?"
"To down town Pittsburgh."

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