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windwow

Another way of spelling "window". It must be ok, because if you google "windwow" you come up with thousands and thousands of hits - even linked to companies who manufacture and sell windows.

This word originated back in the early '70s when my sister typed up a Christmas poem parody I wrote called "Christmas in the '70s" as a parody of "T'was the Night Before Christmas".

Anyway, the last lines in the poem went like this:

He staggared to his sleigh and his team made a fixture,
And away they all flew, like a horror picture.
But I heard him exclaim, from his sleigh window sill,
"I'll sue you if you don't pay the bill!"

But she made a typo when she typed "window"... she actually typed "windwow". In fact that was the only mistake she made in typing up the entire thing. This was like the fourth time she had typed it in because I complained about other typos in previous drafts.

So when I complained about "windwow", she grabbed it and put a line through the second "w" and gave it back to me, and that's when I realized that she wasn't going to type it in a fifth time. I think it was at that very moment when I ceased in being a perfectionist.

Anyway, since that fateful day, whenever I wrote the words "window" or "windows", I intentionally spelled it "windwow" or "windwows" instead. This is especially noteworthy since I now work as a columnist for a computer magazine and have to write things about Microsoft Windwows a lot. It drives my editor crazy.

Microsoft Windwows sure crashes a lot.

by Alfie The Horndog July 24, 2007


jobs

In professional wrestling, someone who deliberately loses to another wrestler. A "jobber" is someone who almost always loses to other wrestlers.

It was a sad day for hulkamaniacs everywhere when Hulk Hogan jobbed to Goldberg.

by Alfie The Horndog August 10, 2005


wii

A mythical video game console where if you can buy it for $250, you can sell it for $400.

The Walmart was only 5 minutes away. When I called, they told me they had one Wii in stock, but couldn't hold it for me. I rushed over, but by the time I got there they had already sold it.

by Alfie the Horndog February 09, 2008


combat coolant

Piss, when it is used by soldiers to cool off overheated weapons.

Mel Gibson used combat coolant to cool off the mortar tubes in the movie We Were Soldiers so he could kill more non-christian vietnamese.

by Alfie The Horndog November 12, 2007


neil diamond

A singer who was tampled to death at a recent Paul Simon concert. Later, Weird Al wrote a parody of the tragedy.

I've got neil diamond on the soles of my shoes.

by Alfie The Horndog April 23, 2008


honey of a

Slang from the 50's and early 60's. Used to decribe something pleasing or good.

Our high school had a honey of a gym.

by Alfie The Horndog August 16, 2005


wolfsbane

A flowering plant found in damp areas of the foothills of mountainous regions in Europe and Asia. It is a member of the buttercup family.

The roots of this plant are a powerful neurotoxin. A piece of the root half the size of a grain of rice can kill an adult human within five seconds. The military has adapted this neurotoxin in gaseous form for chemical warfare.

In Roman times it was used by the lady Lydia to poison anyone who posed a threat to her son Tiberius becoming Emperor. She even used it to kill her own husband.

Diluted, the roots can be used topically as a local anesthetic and numbing agent. It is an active ingredient in many over the counter nerve pain homeopathic remedies.

I gave my mother-in-law a wolfsbane plant for her birthday, but unfortunately she didn't eat it.

by Alfie The Horndog September 11, 2010