wolfsbane

A flowering plant found in damp areas of the foothills of mountainous regions in Europe and Asia. It is a member of the buttercup family.

The roots of this plant are a powerful neurotoxin. A piece of the root half the size of a grain of rice can kill an adult human within five seconds. The military has adapted this neurotoxin in gaseous form for chemical warfare.

In Roman times it was used by the lady Lydia to poison anyone who posed a threat to her son Tiberius becoming Emperor. She even used it to kill her own husband.

Diluted, the roots can be used topically as a local anesthetic and numbing agent. It is an active ingredient in many over the counter nerve pain homeopathic remedies.

I gave my mother-in-law a wolfsbane plant for her birthday, but unfortunately she didn't eat it.

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wii

A mythical video game console where if you can buy it for $250, you can sell it for $400.

The Walmart was only 5 minutes away. When I called, they told me they had one Wii in stock, but couldn't hold it for me. I rushed over, but by the time I got there they had already sold it.

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neil diamond

A singer who was tampled to death at a recent Paul Simon concert. Later, Weird Al wrote a parody of the tragedy.

I've got neil diamond on the soles of my shoes.

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honey of a

Slang from the 50's and early 60's. Used to decribe something pleasing or good.

Our high school had a honey of a gym.

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hero

Defined in the movie Serenity:

A hero is someone who gets a lot of OTHER people killed.

Billy, don't be a hero.

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Thor

Nordic god of thunder. He's always drinking mead. Carries a hammer that only he can lift. I mean not even the Hulk can lift his hammer.

He was one of the main characters in Dougas Adams novel, The Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul.

His one flaw is that he is a bit homophobic and always wears an asgard when he is around Greeks... especially Hercules.

Thor was flying around one day when he saw this "girl". He appraoched her under the guise of a human and he started having anal sex with her. After seven days of this, Thor removed his human disguise and revealed himself as the god of thunder and proudly announced "I AM THOR!".

The girl then revealed that she was actually a bloke and told him "You're thor? I'm tho thor I can't thit". Needless to say that ever since that day Thor has been a bit of a homophobe.

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Sims

Stupid, pointless computer game. Enjoyed only by useless underachievers with "god" complexes. Watching an ant farm with a magnifying glass is more entertaining.

Stupid Sims Gamer: I'm so excited now that I got the latest expansion pack for the Sims!!

Me: You are one a pathetic loser.

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