CV fetishist

A person, who focuses his entire life solely on his cv. A CV fetishist will only perform activities, that will end up benefitting his CV and refrain from actions that are of no interest to the potential employer.

Many a CV fetishist has been spotted performing sexual acts while stimulating himself with his CV.
Due to the invisible hand, this kind of selfish behaviour is typically good for society.

Person 1. :What has Jack been doing lately?
Person 2: Jack is spending a semester in Kenya, building a school in the local community.
Person 1: I thought he hated negros.
Person 2: Yea, but he figured it looks good on a CV. He's kind of a CV fetishist.

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Lolling out loud

If you lol out loud you laugh out loud out loud...which means you actually say lol even though you are talking in real life.
Lolling out loud exposes that you actually spend more time in the virtual world than in real life and makes you seem like a fucking loser.

Peron A: Tells joke
Person B: lol (lolling out loud)
Person A: get a life!

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