Russian Latte

A former-Soviet sexual act in which two fully-uniformed Spetsnaz soldiers simultaneously ejaculate into a full coffee mug. After stirring they feed this to their pet wolves. Once believed to be a fun way of attempting man-wolf crossbreeding, most admit that they were simply bored. This practice was later adopted by American cafes as a way to cut costs on dairy products, most famously by Starbucks using it for all dairy products since 2003.

Chekov: Nothing happening tonight at the base?
Ivan: Nope, we might as well make our wolves a nice Russian Latte.
Chekov: I've already made two today, but why not.
Dmitri: Hey idiots, don't you know that Starbucks will just sell you one?
Ivan: Well that defeats the purpose.
Dmitri: True, but it's better than getting frostbite on your shaft.

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Southern Bigots

When, during intercourse, a woman farts and queefs simultaneously. Undoubtedly the man simply shakes his head and leaves.

Todd: Man, I'm just irritated with women these days.
Ted: Why's that?
Todd: Last night I was making this beautiful girl, then without any warning Southern bigots just burst through the room.
Ted: Please tell me you left...
Todd: Even a, "pardon me," wouldn't have kept me in her. She obviously was never taught manners.