furgery

Noun.

(FER-jer-ee)

The act of having to precisely remove some portion of an animal's (usually a pet's) fur to separate the animal from an undesirable substance without harming the animal.

"I had to perform emergency furgery on our cat Marty today. He stepped in his poop and was tracking it all over the house!"

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Important Kitten Business

Noun - Refers to a task or objective, the importance of which is appreciated only by the one doing it (such as the sort of activities kittens engage in with great enthusiasm).

(Note: The word "kitten" can be substituted with any other noun to cater to a specific situation involving non-kitten entities, for example, "Important Government Business," "Important Stoner Business," or "Important Jesus Business". Additionally, use of the word "kitten" can be retained for ironic effect even when the object of comment is not a kitten.)

Specific:

Q: "What is Snickers doing with that shoelace?"
A: "Important Kitten Business!"

Q: "Amigo has been scratching around in the litter box for like, ten minutes now."
A: "He must be doing Important Kitten Business!"

General:
Q: "What's that police roadblock all about?"
A: "Important police business!"

Q: "What is Rush Limbaugh yelling about?"
A: "Important kitten business!"

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Edishient

(eh-DISH-ent)
Noun.
The practice of using as few dishes and utensils to prepare and consume a meal so as to avoid excess clean up afterward.

Wow, Charlene made that whole tray of enchiladas using only a wooden spoon and an oven mitt--she's so edishient!

Wahmpire

(WAM-pire) Noun.

also "Wahmpyre"

1. Someone who draws energy from sucking others into his or her own drama.

More: The wahmpire usually exists in a more or less constant state of emotional wreckedness, although there is also the "weekend wahmpire" whose attacks are more episodic. Paradoxically wahmpires, like the undead creatures after whom they are named, often still manage to achieve success in many areas of life. This seems to be a function of how effective they are at sucking the life out of those around them.

a. "Judy is such a wahmpire! Every time I see her, she wants to drag me into her latest boyfriend drama. It's exhausting!"