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DNA WhattheHey!

The moment at birth, examining a family photo, or just at random when you realize your offspring look nothing like the silicone bag bearing, botox injected, liposucked, rhinoplasted, forehead lifted, and tummy tucked person you call your wife. When you realize you've been duped and that your wife hasn't fully revealed the quantity of plastic surgery she's had done. This epiphany may also be triggered by a family photo causing you to suddenly understand why your wife looks as if she just stepped out of Vogue compared to the more homely qualities of your children.

Jim (watching wife give birth in operating room)...Hey what the f***. That's not my child!

Doctor: Oh yes it is! It's just another case of DNA WhatTheHey! Happens all the time.

by Amovida June 12, 2011

23👍 1👎


Plate Shift

Putting your responsibility for something onto someone else's plate either purposefully with sly word choice or by omitting or just forgetting major parts of reality altogether.

Mary: You need to pay the $65 late fees on my video return because I couldn't get into your house today to return them.

John: Umm, Plate Shift! My house was locked today but what was wrong with any of the last 21 days you slept at my house and walked right past your videos on the way out the door.

or

Sophia (looking at scratched pan): You need to buy me another $150 Julia Child's Edition Saute Pan cause you scratched mine.

Jim: Plate shift! You set the pan on fire when you forgot your brats watching Dancing w/ the Stars and I only scratched it saving the house from burning down.

by Amovida February 9, 2011

12👍 1👎