STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS

{stat – ute - uv - lim – i – tay – shuns}:
The agreement, usually nonverbal and not always legally formalized, that occurs between husband and wife shortly after (before?) marriage. It lays out his limitations. Following are some standard clauses (No, not Nicholas or Martha):

1. Football Limitation: 1 day per week
2. Guys Night Out Limitation: 1 night per month
3. Trash Detail Limitation: NONE. Husbands are always on trash detail
4. Bikini Ogling Limitation: NEVER unless it’s the wife in the bikini - Or you’re certain she’ll never find out
5. Alcohol Intake Limitation:

a. 1 glass wine daily with dinner

b. 1 six-pack beer for Monday Night Football

c. Exception: 2 six-pack beer for Monday Night Football if you

have a buddy over or the wife is feeling generous.

d. 2 large glasses expensive champagne – 1 time/year on anniversaries

According to the Statute of Limitations you can't go to the bar tonight with Fred. It's my dinner night!

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Bruin

BRUIN {BRUE - EN}:
1) Status of an impending/approaching storm that has not yet let loose

2) Unfinished beer or ale not yet ready for bottling {sampling/tasting preparedness depends on how far into the bruin status the batch currently is}

There's a huge Nor'Easter bruin out to the West. Best cover the crops and bring the cattle round a'fore she hits.

My trick knee is acting up and my joints are stiff: They's one heck of a storm bruin.

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This here batch is still bruin but get them there bottles sterilized.
We'll have us one humdinger of a party when this here mash is through bruin.

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Capon

CAPON {KAY - PON}: Slang term reference the status of a costumed super hero when in uniform and on duty

Yes Commissioner, Batman's current status is CAPON. He's currently enroute to Arkham to deal with the situation.